r e w i n d w e s h a l l

There are certain people I know only through their blogs. They have no clue that I exist, leave alone the fact that I read their writing. One of them conducts writing contests. I do not participate in them, but I decided to pick one of her topics and write on it for a post.

The topic reads: Write a letter to your teenage self.

Dear Devanai

You must be fourteen now.

Letting the world judge you and believing that that judgment is indeed the truth.

In class nine.

Writing out one page of Sanskrit each day for your handwriting practice. Then one day you decide that one page a day is too much of a bother and fill the rest of your notebook with as many sentences as you can, completing the homework for the next several weeks at one shot. You are happy. The next day you expect the teacher to look at just the page that is scheduled for that day. She however flips the pages to the end and has quite a bit to tell you about how handwriting is meant to be developed slowly, over time, letting the script soak in. It is not without reason that they ask you to do just one page at a time, you know? Just as you are getting an earful, a senior walks in and asks for you, prompting the rest of the class to burst into amused laughter. She lets you go. You feel like a hero.

Ten years down the line, you wouldn’t have changed much. You will continue eating the sparse two meals a day, resting your fingers between every two bites, preferring to live off juices, frowning at the idea of lunch time having arrived too quickly. You will make good friends, friends for life. Barring one or two they will mostly be girls. Make a conscious effort to keep in touch with them.

And yes, if ever an astrologer tells you that you will be married off in 2003 do not ruin the rest of your week tormenting yourself about an imagined terrible marriage. You will be blissfully single at least for another ten years. At that point you may be curious to know who you will marry, if at all you do. But right now I am not in a position to offer you greater insight on this matter.

Don’t worry too much about not being able to stay away from home. Yes, you will be made fun of for letting go the opportunities that came your way merely because you chose to stay in Madras. But neither that nor homesickness should make you feel defenseless. Maintain that composed demeanour at all times. It’s a passing phase – you will soon get over it and find comfort in the fact that you did stay away from home for almost a year, and will be ready to do it again if need be.

Also, do not believe it when people tell you that tears are the easiest resort of the cowardly. It’s not true at all. One day you may feel on top of the world. The very next day, you will be ready to convince the human race that there isn’t a bigger loser than you. And so you will cry much in the years to come; not because your life will be traumatic, but because that is the way you cope with your little hurdles. Plus there’s the added advantage of looking at a sparkling clear face in the mirror once the tears freshen you up. You will feel much better once you’ve had your share of crying, as your tired eyes put you to sleep more easily than if you’d bottled up your feelings resisting the urge to get it over with.

Write and draw more often. Unless you keep at it you won’t know how good you are. It will fill you with a sense of satisfaction that can be matched by little else. While we discuss satisfaction, another thing that I want you to do is visit an orphanage or a school for special children. Spend time interacting with them. They will love your company. And you will feel great being loved. It may sound selfish that you are doing it for your own happiness, but then again, it’s not just yours.

Another thing that I’ve discovered is that you come across as a partial reflection of the people you meet. What I’m trying to say is that if people are talkative and sociable, they will be able to draw you out, force you out of your inhibitions and encourage you to talk a good deal. But if they are themselves highly withdrawn, that’s pretty much what they’ll have to say about you as well. Get it?

Finally, don’t ever doubt the fact that you are a nice person. Because, for one, each person in the universe is nice to a certain extent. I know that doesn’t pamper your ego enough. But make a heartfelt attempt to be a better person every day. I trust your discretion completely. You will too someday.